I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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