would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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