Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
