He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
