i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
