he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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