doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
