She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize