a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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