We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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