It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
