She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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