I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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