why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
