I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
