I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
