he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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