someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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