when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
