got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
