I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
