you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
