Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
