i think my mom watched the whole time
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My balls are so social today.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
