Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
