1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize