Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
