Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
