was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
