there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My feet surprised me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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