Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's shark week go big or go home
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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