end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Boobs are out for the taking
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize