i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
