Can Purell be used as lube?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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