So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
