i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Did I show you my penis last night?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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