Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Randomize
