my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
