As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
