I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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