We are two peas in an std pod
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
