I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I believe in your delicious
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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