Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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