How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
