Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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