I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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