is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
