I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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