Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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