i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
