I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
