Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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