we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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