names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I believe in your delicious
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
