u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize