why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
