Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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