when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Never joke about your clitoris.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
