You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
