She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
