oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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