so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
