the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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