I cockslap morals
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
