I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
