would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize