it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
