I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
