Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize