Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
