yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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