I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
