So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
