so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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