Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
