She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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